Your identity crisis is over, Upper Peninsula of Michigan

The 'Michigan is shaped like a mitten' thing bothers me.

Michigan is more than just a hand, you know. It's cute, but it must be like tiny daggers to the heart of the U.P. folks' self-esteem every time they see someone pointing to their palm, big dopey, happy grin on their face, saying "I live...there!"

The people who live in the remote areas of the Upper Peninsula should have some cutesy ways of describing where their towns are located.

Thus, I propose: The Flying Scottie Dog. Or the Jumping Scottie Dog. Or, the somewhat troubling albeit rather more accurate, The Punted Scottie Dog.

Can you see it? He's facing to the right.

Way up in the tip of the tail is Copper Harbor.

In the tip of the front paws lies Menominee.

The tuft of beard in the front is Drummond Island.

St. Ignace is in the jaw.

Sault Ste. Marie is in the nose.

Ironwood lies in the back paws.

And -everyone's favourite- Ontonagon is in the ass.

Think of the T-shirt sales Ontonagon alone could generate.

Personally, I love it. Going up to The Dog sounds so much better than saying "The Yoo-Pee". And suppose you're going to Detour or Hulbert (and why the hell wouldn't you?) - when people ask where specifically that is (and they will), you can just say, "The snout." and they'll know!

And how ridiculously cute does that sound?

Really, this should catch on. It's adorable.

By the way, I camped all through The Dog a few years ago and spent considerable time in The Ass. It was lovely...