Four people in the world regularly think about these tennis shoes

The guy who owns them.

The guy who threw them up there.



The grounds-keeper who's got them on his to-do list.



And me.

Bitch on, Brother.

Al Gore can suck it. And so can you, Laurie David (no matter how much I love your husband).

More and more are climbing aboard the Global Warming Express Train to Doom and Annhilation. The dumb twattery shows no sign of abating.

Sigh.

People, just because we think we're a big deal, doesn't mean nature agrees with us.

Here are the words of a great American thinker, Howard Bloom:

There's a simple fact we all ignore, just like we ignore the fact that war is in our genes and that our egos are gene-products.

There have been 144 mass extinctions of species on this planet that we can count and probably many many more that we can't count. There have been periods in which the carbon dioxide level in the atmosphere was 200 times what it is today. There have been ice ages and periods of flood that have turned the continents into marshes. In other words, drastic change is nature's way of doing things especially when it comes to weather.

So we make a big mistake when we assume that by lowering our insignificant carbon emissions we are going to bring about climatic stability. The climate of this planet has very seldom been stable, it has dived and soared from cold to hot.

So our task is to prepare for change. Change is what made us human to begin with. Your ancestors got you here by making it through over 20 ice ages.

He's right. We've got to just relax and, as Reo Speedwagon advised, roll with the changes. Because nothing we (yet) do is going to best -or worst- nature.

Howard Bloom

Big Bang Tango

Terrorists: 1 | Maybelline Wearers: 0

George Bush in October of 2001:

"The object of terrorism is to try to force us to change our way of life, is to force us to retreat, is to force us to be what we're not. And ... they're going to fail. They're simply going to fail. I want to assure my fellow Americans that our determination ... has never been stronger to succeed in bringing terrorists to justice, protecting our homeland. This is our calling. This is the time for us to act in a bold way, and we are doing just that".

Random American citizen in August of 2006:



At the airport in the immediate aftermath of the foiled terrorist plot, she's using her favourite lipstick one last time before relinquishing it to the bin liner held by that Kapo in capri pants (who, if I may digress for a moment of snark, is wearing a face that evokes such hostility in me that it makes me wish a little bit that that passenger actually had turned her tube of Shimmering Coral Passion into an explosive device).


From an AP Report:

"I've just spent 20 minutes in the middle of an airport trying to repack my bags. I've had to sort out my money, my wallet and my possessions," said New Yorker David Hailes, flying from Edinburgh airport. "At the moment I'm not happy, but I can see the point of it. We can't let these people win."

In the countless quotes I've read from travellers since 9/11, any expressed outrage over an inconvenience is almost always softened with "...but I understand." I fear one day I shall read: "Well, the anal examination was uncomfortable and emasculating, but I totally understand why they needed to look inside my ass."

Do we really understand?

I'm not sure we do. I think we average citizens understand very little about the conflict we are involved in, and how we are addressing it.

And no effort has been expended by our government to help or encourage us to understand. Because if we did, we might dare to question the folly of airport security as it currently exists.

You and I know that woman isn't going to use her lipstick as a weapon. Even the stone-faced bitch holding the bag knows she isn't going to use her lipstick as a weapon. So all the wasted time, energy, expense, and the confusion and fear that results from it is nothing more than perverse theatre that accomplishes little.

Has a terrorist been plucked out of the inspection line at an airport ever? I have never heard of it happening. And one would think that if it did, the news would be shouted far and wide from the hills, so proud would the airlines be that their system does something more than just irritate and inconvenience their paying customers.

New Toy (oh ee yo)

Ladies and Gentlemen, as the newest member of your 21st Century, I'd like to ask your indulgence in allowing me a moment to say a few words about a beloved old friend: My 35mm camera.

We shared some good times, my Minolta and I. I am forever indebted to it for it's sharp focus, it's operational simplicity, and it's endless hours of darkroom creativity.

But, as they say, all good things must come to an end.

Please know, Minolta SLR, that I resisted the call of the newfangled for as long as I could. I was, and still am, your champion. But I can no longer go on pretending that you fulfill my needs.

The truth is that my needs have changed. I have changed. And you haven't.

I've been seeing another camera.

*cue Sarah Mclaghlin's 'I Will Remember You'*

(here's where an evocative display of pictures I've taken through the years should go, but my scanner isn't working. And since I don't feel like hauling my carcass down to Kinkos to get prints scanned, I guess ceremony can go fuck itself.)

Here are the first fledgling captures of my new digital camera.

7:00 AM this morning. The creepy handiwork of multi-legged beings:




7:45 AM. Still life with quarter, ink pen, 5 pound barbell, & two dogs kvetching on a coffee cup:



The camera was a very generous gift. I'm tight-wad-inclined and probably wouldn't have bought myself one for another year or two.

I like it, except for one major complaint: I absolutely despise focusing through that monitor.

The intimacy between photographer and subject is lost in the digital age. With a manual, ie "real" camera, one eye is held tight against the view finder and the other is squinted closed, which shuts out everything in the whole world. The only thing that exists in that moment is what's in the lens.

Digital cameras are like mini-TVs. And every passer-by can stop and watch with you just by hovering over your shoulder. Such an invasion!

But...there is always a sacrifice for convenience, I guess.

And just think, in a few short years, we will meet young people who won't know what a "negative" is.

turn, turn, turn...

A fascinating story that sits quietly, waiting to be told

Thanks again to the Internet, I've stumbled upon the existence of a man from the recent past whom I had never heard of.

His name was Michael Brody and, according to a BBC documentary that devoted a few seconds to him, he was a young American millionaire who, in 1970, announced he was going to give all his money away.

The film aired a portion of an interview he granted in which he explained his reasons:

"Money is the least thing I'm giving away right now. What I'm giving away is good feeling to mankind.

Like, if you wanna do anything, I mean, if there are any murderers out there, if you want to stab somebody in the throat, don't stab the person you're stabbing in the throat. Call me and put me in his place. I'll die for you."

The film freezes on a close-up of his face and text appears on the bottom of the screen. It tells us that he later went on to commit suicide.

It was quite a compelling bit of footage and I paused the film to do an immediate web search for this young man. I found very little. But what I did find out was so shocking that I can't believe there's been zero effort to document his life.

After all, a life that includes inheriting a fortune, stints in mental institutions, making threats against Nixon, burning down your (rented) home, an appearance on The Ed Sullivan Show, and a self-inflicted rifle shot to the head at age 24 is a life that is probably worth a closer examination.

Happy Birthday, Elliott Smith

there's nothing here that you'll miss
I can guarantee you this
is a cloud of smoke

He would have been 37 today. The brave, beautiful man who, at a time when everyone else was screaming and pounding their fists in rage, was sitting alone, quietly pulling his rib cage apart, laying bare his heart and soul in soft, bleeding whispers.

sunshine, been keeping me up for days
there is no night time, it’s only a passing phase
and i feel pretty, pretty enough for you
i felt so ugly before, i didn’t know what to do

He was just a man. But oh, the music that man created...



Happy birthday, sweet Elliott - and, as ever, thank you.
xo

1000 freakin' % humidity

The past few days have been insufferably hot.

You go outside from the mildewy comfort of cold, manufactured air, and immediately a thick, sticky swarm of humidity rushes at you, encircling and clinging to you like a gang of poor native children mobbing a fat tourist at a posh beach resort.

The air is so wet and heavy that everything I see looks like a Cybil Sheppard close-up on Moonlighting, all soft-focus and fuzzy. It would be beautiful if I weren't so god damned irritable.

And lethargic. The only thing I've had the energy to do is lay down and blink.

The one positive about these humid spells, is that a raging, torrential thunderstorm with gusting winds eventually forms, blowing all the nastiness away like a forgotten scandal.

The winds have started. I stepped out for a cigarette earlier and the air was slightly lighter. The northern sky was dark and cloudy and bolts of heat lightning were zapping every few seconds, a weather phenomenon I was able to appreciate properly thanks to the lifted oppression.

And naturally, my thoughts drifted to Mel Gibson.

Oy.

By all means, I should be dancing in Schadenfreudestical glee about the spot of bother he has landed his Passionately Catholic arse in.

But I just ain't feeling the fury.

Not that I don't want to join in the fun of hurling a few stones at a weakened Goliath, of course, but I think it's a waste of energy. I don't believe he will suffer true backlash from this.

For one thing, he's anchored in Christ. The Christians know he's a brethren, they LOVE him for that fucking movie and what it has done for their Lord, and they are all about forgiving a lamb who's lost his way.

Plus he's got oodles of money, his still-strong movie star image, and a whole team of handlers and PR douchebags willing to do/say almost anything to keep his name as untainted as possible, and themselves in his employ.

Many in the print media appear to be sympathetic. Susan Estrich, in a column on the Fox News website, ended her article on Mel by saying, "He still looked good in that mugshot." (the serious journalist's equivalent of: "I <3 Mel 4-ever!").

The one aspect of this I am most interested in is whether the major Hollywood film makers, producers, and studio execs (mostly Jewish, as I understand) will stand by him. If all the behind-the-scenes accounts written by bitter Hollywood insiders are true, then I think money would be the deciding factor on that one.

If the public doesn't abandon Mel, Hollywood won't either.

And I don't think he's going to lose his audience. A gossip blog recently posted this article about Mel Gibson's negative comments about homosexuals. Here is a reader's comment:

"Mel's offences continue to mount, and I continue to not care; I love him anyway. I think I'd have to witness Mel kick puppies and set kittens on fire before, in my eyes, his image could be tarnished."

That sort of devotion is reminiscent of the people who continually turn a blind eye to George W. Bush's fuck ups.

He is an actor and knows how to elicit a desired reaction. He's already issued a couple very convincingly heart-felt apologies. When he gets out of rehab, he'll meet with some Jewish leaders, maybe donate money to a Holocaust foundation, and then appear on The Tonight Show, remorseful & sincere, and Jay Leno will, just as he did with Hugh Grant, toss a few softball questions and crack a few light-hearted jokes to ease the tension.

America was able to bounce back (as it were) from the shock and horror of Janet Jackson's breast. I think we'll recover from finding out one of our Hollywood icons is a bit of a racist prick.

After all, it isn't a crime to be an asshole.

Things are looking up.

This is an article that makes me feel optimistic (also slightly uncomfortable as it is a revisiting of the shame and embarrassment I felt over my country being really fucking STUPID!).

And something else really good happened. Truly something to celebrate.

But, sadly, we ain't out of the woods yet.